From future as a fantasy to … creating future?

Master showed me today that I have been seeing both success and a love relationship as an end point — as a visual of being done. It has usually not even been a proper contemplation of what that actually is, nor an investigation into others who have made it there, or how much energy it would take to get there. Rather, it has often just been a pleasurable, static image or thought, or at most a looping of desired images and thoughts with a “nice” feeling in the body.

Why?
So I can keep the ego and the self — Erik as he is — but still enjoy some imagined benefit, e.g. being the One … who does not need to evolve.

Can you see how stupid this is!?
How the f*ck can those new things happen to me without me evolving?!

What is a more right approach?
Maybe to go more into the details of the challenging situations required to reach a new reality, or to look at the challenging aspects within a real success or a real love relationship — and to see which part of me cannot remain the same, which new faculties and abilities have to be evolved or awakened, and what amount of energy that would actually require?

Harder work?
It surely sounds like it.
But the alternative; to fantasise about my desires, demands and longings without ever actualising them…
That is not the best of me, it’s not me living me out, it’s not even a real life … it’s just a fantasy.