Schema Therapy, Our 3 Coping Styles: Surrender, Avoid, Overcompensate
Every maladaptive schema, or schema loop has one fear at its core, and three ways we cope with it.
The fear is specific to the loop: of being left, of being flawed, of being hurt, of failing. Underneath them all sits the deepest one, that we do not matter as we are.
Schema therapy labels the three reactions surrender, avoidance, and overcompensation.
Surrender: we give in and take less so no one leaves.
Avoidance: we numb and withdraw, hiding whatever might set the loop off.
Overcompensation: we do the opposite, often making another person less so we can feel more.
How can we begin to identify our own coping strategies?
And thereby suspend them to come into existence.
The fear is specific to the loop: of being left, of being flawed, of being hurt, of failing. Underneath them all sits the deepest one, that we do not matter as we are.
Schema therapy labels the three reactions surrender, avoidance, and overcompensation.
Surrender: we give in and take less so no one leaves.
Avoidance: we numb and withdraw, hiding whatever might set the loop off.
Overcompensation: we do the opposite, often making another person less so we can feel more.
How can we begin to identify our own coping strategies?
And thereby suspend them to come into existence.
by Master
• 1 month ago
Comments (4)
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Thank you so much for sharing! so good to name them. omg I’ve done them all. I think at this moment, perhaps avoidance is the core one for me. There were other periods of time I leaned into the other two more.
me tooo, Baldawi has pointed out my go to is withdrawal
👌🏼 so good thanks 🙏🏼
🙏🫶