How do we know the therapy room is a safe place?

There are many outstanding, kind, compassionate, and professional therapists/psychologists around the world. Meanwhile, it is not surprising anymore that we hear some news about therapists violating or abusing clients. In some cases, therapists conducted sexual violence in the therapy room. It shouldn’t have happened, but it happened, and not just once. When therapists put themselves in an authority figure or a power position, the therapy room can become a perfect space to exploit clients’ vulnerability. It is more harmful now if we don’t distinguish how safe we are with a therapist.

In my past training programs, some therapists would repeatedly remind clients that the therapy space is safe for them to be vulnerable and honest. I also learned that clients might let their fear go and expose their deep wound; however, in some cases, therapists failed to hold the process right, leaving the clients ungrounded and even more traumatized.

Therapists do share the responsibilities of holding the space right and being careful about the possible violence that could happen. At the same time, therapists also are facilitating clients to develop the capacity to distinguish safety for themselves. More importantly, clients are learning how to respond and protect themselves when they sense violence. This learning is critical for all of us to meet the challenges in real life.

Rather than reminding clients how safe the space is, therapists share the responsibility of encouraging clients to sense, observe, and respond both in the therapy room and outside it.

By telling clients that you are safe here, you can let your guard down, might indicate that the environment is designed to let them be unconscious of their safety, and rely on what the environment says. Can clients build a system in them to trust their own judgment about how safe they are, and is that a healing process for them? Can clients watch and see what safety is? Can we trust a human being's intelligence? I say:” Yes. That’s the learning and respect in therapy.”

A good therapist can address this with clients: “When you feel discomfort here, please tell me. I’m open to explore that together with you.”