What drives us to make effort to change?

I have been watching a documentary series, “Couples Therapy”, and in it, Psychologist Dr. Orna Guralnik said, “It demands lots of love and want to change. Only by having enough want to love, the effort to transcend ourselves, to go beyond something fundamental in us happens.”

That’s what I’ve observed in my clients as well. I witnessed clients strive to change because they desire to love themselves, their partners, children, friends, pets, etc. When we fail to change or learn, we possibly haven’t addressed our incapacity of loving others and ourselves. People who change/transform are the ones who can love and want to love or who wake up to the truth that love is the demand; only love transcends pain.