Homeless in a Bentley

I just finished my first academic paper on the subject of awakening.

It is called Homeless in a Bentley, and the question at the heart of it is one my master gave me directly:

"How are you escaping your own demand of fulfilment and enlightenment, and how have you made that escape your goal?"

The paper investigates why we remain disloyal to our own fulfilment. Not as a failure of willpower; but as something structural, biological, and deeply conditioned. It draws on neuroscience, philosophy, psychology, and five days of silent retreat held with the question alive.

One of the lines that has stayed with me:
"Hell is chosen not mainly out of stupidity or weakness, but out of conditioning, addiction, and a confusion of values so deep it feels like reality."

I am happy about this paper. Not because it answers the question, but because it honestly investigates it. And the investigation is not over.

If any of this lands with you; if you are drawn to questions about fulfilment, enlightenment, identity, or why we resist what we most deeply want — I would love to connect. Live or online, whatever works.

The paper is available in both English and Swedish. Send me a personal message if you would like to read it.

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